thinking about how much i appreciate disorder, these days: the chaotic microcosm writhing thriving and teaming with variance in a handful of leafy, moldy, black brown and soft wooded, water logged splintery, sand and spores, critters: soil! handful of the forest ground. Also, the froth left by waves on the beach, then blown, flying exploded in a gust of wind, sploitering across the rocks and shaken, struck, vibing and resonating with pummels of raindrops. Obviously this is a complex play between order and disorder, symmetry and asymmetry.
I’m beginning to wonder if, rather than the usual mathematical aesthetic-sense of beauty-in-elegant-order, i’m finding fascination in that which is almost comprehensible yet so complex and asymmetric as to be beyond reach. the rough ink stroke of a somewhat dry paint brush, the imperfectionate details of a chinese-calligraphy tao-circle.
Not only have we evolved to order, to live, reproduce, prosper, but also to die, and to die well. Zombies dont die well, they are life dragging on– now that is bad death. bad for future generations. so, the circle of life must be complete. this is ecology. yes evolution make the circle more of a spiral, eh? But i guess all this indicates that death is itself an ecological tactic of organizational management. it is a shedding and a recycling.
Maybe we seek, we crave disorganization? perfect elegance of order is monotonous stagnancy. After studying math i usually like to consume and express randomness, walking through the aisles of a thrift-story just to provoke a ridiculous firing of brain cells, diving into meanings and mental associations of disorderly shelves of objects, or striving to play melodies or chords as random as possible.
in one place i’m tying my crazy self to the study of order, and in another, im jettisoning my orderly self into a whirlwind of incomprehensibility. hmm dualities, inspirations..
(p.s. thank you gregor heimdall sachson (schundler), your writing provoked the manifestation of this writing)